20170413

certain to stir

so... i suppose i wont be able to help but have this post consist of a lot of rant about maximus, the dwp, and the assaultment.



it's not nice being put through that torture, on top of the torture of various ailments faced all day every day already.



very gestapo, but with even more mind blowing sureal absurdity, which only adds to the inhumane cruelty of it.



imagine this...



so there you go, driving in to the meeting, have an anxiety attack enroute, n so responsibly park at the earliest convenience to avoid risking road accidents. you've been through this assessment process once before, but last time they came to you, on account of your difficulties getting out of the house, notably severe social anxiety. but since they hold the purse strings on the income you depend on for the necessities of life and combatting your ailments, and since you cant use phones thanks to your social anxiety to arrange otherwise, you capitulate, and strive at great effort and risks to get there to the assessment. as you arrive, instead of any sembelence of consideration for your condition, you get shouted at, and made to wait pointlessly. then when let in, it's continued abraisive contempt and impatient curt interupting of your answers. it could just be chalked up to some outrageously clumsy bureacratic neglegence from the top... until then comes the question that follows after the question about self harm and suicide.



"why havent you killed yourself yet?"



yes. that really is what you get asked in these dwp/maximus work capability assaultments.



so there's your smoking gun for it being a cull.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_euthanasia



though, euthanasia, even involuntary euthanasia, containing the word euthanasia, suggests there's some kind of mercy on their part. there's no mercy to their cull of the sick & poor.



i dont know if they're trying to do it just by the pure numbers, or if they have some notion of achieving greater genetic purity or some other totalitarian lunacy. the numbers dont even seem to add up. not that it should at all ever be reduced to just the numbers. these are peoples lives, their rights.



"why havent you killed yourself yet?" is an outrageously inapropriate thing to ask someone with mental health problems.



fuck you maximus, the dwp, and the conservative party.

...



i had read back through my old posts in this blog. i had forgotten how well i was doing in 2015, how much ground i had managed to recover... oh how horrendously far i've fallen since that first assaultment.

i dare say i'm about the worst health i've ever been. worse even than when i needed to be rescued and taken back home the first time, ending my college days, and as it turns out, signalling the start of a long time as a fulltime feeble incumbered with multiple debilitating ailments. so, in hindsight, bye bye career in the arts, sciences, education, whatever those lofty ideas my parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles all thought was to be in my life story. nope. life of feeble.

but lets not present that like i'm worthless.

lets not present the idea that people can be considered worthless.

all life.

so i'm not going to sit here and try to come up with all the evidence of my life being worthy, so i can present it in my case as i pleed for my life to the government.

i dont want to validate that scenario.



we shouldnt need go through that.



indeed we have laws against that sort of thing.



duty of care.



human rights.



laws against assault, and forcing someone to commit suicide (that's called murder ~ and doing it lots of times as policy and proceedure, is mass murder).



calums list is too long.



they have to be stopped.



new systems (or even the old system) need put in place.



supposedly some of the argument put forward why we needed to conjure this system was to take the burden off the National Health Service, and the General Practitioners, from all those incapacity benefits claimants needing a note from them.



.... aaaaand the system we have now is somehow better and more cost effective? how???



nope, costing more.



causing harm. making ailments worse, putting greater burden on NHS and GPs. costing more.



but i suppose if you just kill off all the sick & the poor... .... see if that's how dirty nasty n evil this is being played... do we have anyone on our side playing that nasty? someone go break theresa may's legs, and put her through some psychelogical torture that would give her PTSD... y'know a combination of ailments that pretty much precludes her from being seriously considered "fit for work", and have her be put through the mill of this nightmare.



i rly dont like those sorts of violent suggestions, but so stressed, that's some kind of mal-adaptive coping mechanism, or something like that, i forget quite how my shrink put it.



... been watching better call saul. it's back on. lots of stuff in that gets me thinking, about my ailments, about isolation, about other people's interactions with people with ailments that call for special consideration... it's good stuff.



such things, are a form of therapy in their own right.



and comedy.



endorphins n such, are healing.



difficult at times with depression.



n also difficult to keep taking all the supplements and doing all the activities i'm supposed to for my health, with depression, which makes the depression worse... black hole. rough.



so... fuck the dwp, maximus and the conservative party.



fraudsters and murderers.

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