the cosmos on a stick

y'know what you want, dont you?

you want the comos on a stick.

dont you... that's what you want, isnt it, the cosmos on a stick.

wheeee, wave it around, show all your friends. "look! look! i have the cosmos on a stick!"

... yes... fans of the likes of tmwrnj and fof may reccognise the idiom.

idiom? idk if that's the correct use of the word... it's not really an idiom is it. sounded nice though.

soooooo... to the point.

buckminster fuller.

om nom nom nom.

i probably started reading synergetics a while back, and it got lost, set aside in a bulk of unread pdfs, it's towering brilliance gone unoticed in the crowd, but that's fine. i'm just glad i've started reading it again now.

i've been loitering around in a mensa channel... went there because i had a question about iq scores... ended up sticking around. ... they've not kicked me out yet... either they dont mind i'm not mensa worthy, or they dont know. lol. i half suspect there's a large portion, even everyone, in the chan in a similar sub-mensa boat, lol. however, several have passed comment suggesting they appreciate my input, commenting on my wisdom. ~ i'll likely ramble about wq and other quotients in a blog post sometime, n shll refrain from that particular tangent for now... other things i wanna ramble about.

... and in that mensa channel, amidst a link containing the enthralling musings of one irc user, arose mention of buckminster fuller's synergetics.




even before getting into the full swing of it, there's such an uplifting lucidity and clarity to the writing. the sentences are somehow dense, rich in (what i'd call) medium sized words, full on, even lengthy... and yet readable. oh so readable. i get to push my envelope.... my envelope??? er... i get to push my speed reading up a notch or two. switch off "saying" the words in my mind, and just flow my eyes over it, let it be absorbed at speed. of course, this is with my anti-dyslexia colouring... and of course i have to focus and reset n go back sometimes to overcome some dyslexic jumble or just to overcome some over-eager haste... or, as perhaps seems the most comon (or at least the most noticeable n prominent), to go back and read something again slower, even out loud, just because it's so enthralling, uplifting, inspiring... ok, nice words... maybe it's more a case of "because i emphatically agree the fuck outta it".

like i say, i'm not far through it yet, just still in what feels quite "intro"ish, but already the mind is alive with it, the brain is surely lighting up all kinds of places and sequences or whatevers.

see... i have a confession to make here... and it's not an easy one to make, because it is both offensive to many, and comes across as vulgar and arrogant... so i usually suffer in silence, but this is a MMMMMMMAAAAAAASSSIVE part of my anxiety problems... i have what (as best i can fathom) is called " stultophobia ". it... is... terrifying. however, when i read this, it seems to readdress the balance somewhat. ... yes i know there are still stupid people out there. but knowing that there are also thinkers of this calibre out there really helps soothe n settle me.

... still intro-ish, lighting up the brain, yeah, that's where i was... things it's got me thinking of... a whiff of terence mckenna, who doubtless read synergetics. and i suspect it will head into very similar realms as my uncle's cobweb theory, or whatever he'll be calling it when he finally publishes.

still ringing in my ears from recent watchings... David Sinclair's talk on epigenetics, and Gerald Jay Sussman: The Role of Programming ... well worth seeking out. ... with those still ringing in my ears... today, i feel a bit of weight lifting.

... though, that weight lifting could also be from my changes in supplementation regeim. ^_^ i take a years rda of vitamin B12 per day (changed from miniscule dose of b12 amidst a multi-B). i take 15,000 IU of vitamin D3 (have done this for a while). i take a pill of ashwaganda per day (i've rly not done my homework on this one, an impulse buy). aaaand, i take a 1/5th recommendation scoop of L-Triptophan. had some excellent sleep recently. noticed the benefit to my skin and hair too. ..... aaaaand... a real biggie to me... i've been able to answer the phone about 80% of the time now. for a while i was down to about 1% and it caused me immense stress. ... before i got like that, i couldnt understand what that was, how that could be, even to the point of outright dismissing such concerns of those in such predicaments. enroute to me, is the next step in my supplementation augmentation... a cbd oil, since they threaten being stormtroopered if you attempt to medicate with another high profile cannabinoid, i've been unable to aquire this much needed supplement without causing myself absurd levels of stress dealing with the black market under threat of being locked in a room with sadists. ... not ideal means to aquire necessities of life n wellbeing. ... so anyhoo... things are starting to look up a bit... .. or maybe i'm just totally drugged out on this ashwaganda stuff and will later find out it's not a way out. ... and speaking of ways out... CBT is not it. i know the mainstream parrots love to chirp up n encourage acceptance of this perception but i've been through three bouts of CBT, and while i do acknowledge many of the insights from it have to at least play some role, i consider it a dangerous and harmful omission to persuade people it's /all/ about cognitive behaviour. ... that kind of thinking could really get one trussed up in an ever deepening hole when not realising that there are ESSENTIAL exogenous nutrients that all the CBT in the world wont make for you. ... now yes, one needs to cognitively behave and act in a planned way that will ensure one aquire's them... but that's not likely to recieve much emphasis in CBT group.

aaaaanyhooo... those in such settings (like a CBT group) are more likely to provoke my stultophobia, innerred as they usually are in the dogmas of their system, following the rails set out for them, because ((reluctantly as i accept) through no fault of their own) they lack the cognitive machinery to actually THINK adequately to challenge and construct improvements or alternatives. ... annoyingly some are so gifted, and yet dont. ... it's those that some righteous indignified jostling can do some good for... but often so hard to tell them from those who genuinely are incapable. ... n that's a sad thing to confront, coming from an egalitarian place where we're all worthy of achieving inspired genius thoughts with similar ease. ... but it's ok, my egalitarianism isnt the dumb kind that dictates we must all be equal throughout in all aspects. no. that's absurd, indeed. such like the core message i took from forrest gump... even an iq of 70 n you can be of great worth. we're all worthy. some aspects or actions might not be so worthy, but there's nothing in that to add weight to vulgar claims any of us need to be discard. just some ideas.

ideas can be thrown around. as they should be. shared, spread, modified, evolved, examined etc etc etc. ideas are not people. you are not your ideas. do not make that conflation.

yesterday, was a day full of that. from a mycologist expert getting upity like HE was under threat when a questioned about various aspects, or if certain texts had been read... to a drama flareup where innocent questions prompted a fight-of-flight response. this is what happens when we conflate and entangle ourselves in identifying with that which is not us... and in a sense, that's a fair thing to do, because it's all us, we're all one, the cosmic gestalt, so to speak. ... but there are still nuances. important nuances, which help aleviate such silly difficulties. psychology is funny stuff. the biological defendor at the base of our brain at the back, it's great, but sometimes we can do more in the crinkly byzantine upper complexity to feed it better perceptions, when to fear, when to fight. easier said than done, right? self reflection's such a boon. having a laugh, not taking yourself so seriously, seeing yourself as a naive child of the cosmos, not some serious poe faced adult, really is so massively important.

krishna said arrogance is the only folly.

... or maybe... idk, i never met the guy in person when he was alive... cos i was something like 5000 years later to be born. but someone said he said something like that. and it's bloody good. mull it over for a while. test it out. check it against whatever other doctrines and spiritual rulebooks. ten commandments or whatever. it all rolls back to arrogance.

one cannot continue assimilating more information, accumulating more knowledge, to better draw one's picture of the world, when one thinks one knows all there is, or even, thinking someone else knows all there is to be known n giving up learning more thinking nothing new can be learned.

the cosmos is not so flat, as not just the likes of buckminster fuller will depict, but i suggest that same truth comes screaming out all the louder from garett lisi's multi-dimensional subatomic construct.

anyhoo... i'll leave the ramblings for now... n get back to reading more synergetics.

ps, also on my list of books i want to glomp, is sussman's structure and interpretation of classical mechanics. ... hopefully i can keep all this new enthusiasm in check such that it doesnt become manic and rajasic, leading to tamas n burnout. ... ommmmmm. steady, steady. ;)

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